The Path To Finding Better Health

Ami Shroyer: Facts and Tips in Coping with Grief and Loss

We all know that human beings are mortal beings, and some come and go. When it comes to death and dying, grief has five stages including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Remember that not all people in grief experience the five stages, there are some who will report more stages, and others have their own set of grieving stages because it is a unique experience. Denial refers to the state of shock, wherein a person who is grieving experience a world of overwhelming and meaningless atmosphere. With the denial stage, one can find a shield from fear and threat, a nature’s way to get your broken pieces back, and as you begin to accept the reality of your loss, you will start to ask questions, which is also the beginning of the healing process. Denial will start to fade once you start to feel the real emotions and thoughts of your loss, but you become stronger in facing reality.

The second stage of the healing process when grieving is anger. Anger results to crying, shouting, and physically harming yourself and others, and this is a normal stage of the healing process, but you must be careful hurting yourself and other people with your seemingly limitless anger. Some people blame other people for the loss of their loved ones such as doctors, family, friends, relatives, and even God. You feel abandoned and deserted. Anger can be your anchor to a stronger structure, making a connection from the emptiness of the denial stage to becoming more aware of what is happening around you, so you may show anger to the doctor who last attended your loved one in the hospital or to a relative who did not attend the funeral. It is commonly observe that people who show too much anger are those who really showed a high level of love to their departed loved one. The third stage is the bargaining stage, and before the loss, a person seems like to do anything to spare their loved one’s life. The bargaining stage involves “what if” statements with so much guilt, lasting for weeks or months. The guilt inside you leads to self-blame, remembering the past and wondering if things got much better when you have done something better.

The most painful part is the depressive stage, wherein you feel the impact of reality that you no longer have the person you were just talking to before, and this is pure sadness and loneliness that may seem to last forever. While there are people who get too depressed, this is not a sign of mental illness, it is a normal response to a great loss. A depressed person may entirely withdraw from his social activities, and when realization starts, and so as acceptance, and slowly become engaged in this society again.
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